The happy farang

Kin mangsavirat

2011-02-01T04:37:00.001+07:00

Living in the 21st century and being burnt on the stake like a medieval witch by your fellow peers? You must be a vegetarian in the western world. The developed world they call it. Is it that developed if your surroundings threat you like this?

Thailand is a mainly Buddhist country and Buddhism preaches vegetarianism, although the followers don't adopt the idea. The first thing you see when going for a bite on the street, is that anything goes. Every animal you can immediately think of will be available on a plate somewhere. But why is it then, that vegetarians are treated as human beings here. People respect your choices. There is a growing number of vegetarians in Bangkok and with this an increasing number in vegetarian restaurants. Even when out on the streets, you can always ask for a customized dish and the streetside chef will be happy to oblige. Even asking if it needs adjusting while you are eating, trying to give you the best culinary experience of the day.

Every vegetarian restaurant I visited here was always full of people, Thai and farang alike. Enjoying an animal-free local or western dinner. That's right, there are different kinds of vegetarian restaurants available, to everyone's taste. My favourite is an all Thai restaurant located in the Ekkamai area of town. It can be hard to find because it is not to be seen from the roadside, but there are enough signs pointing to this refreshing oasis. It looks quite posh and fancy on the inside and makes you grab for your wallet to check if you have enough cash or have to run off to an ATM first. Rest assured, the interior and the prices are very opposite from each other. You can have a great meal here for less than 200 baht. And it gets even better when you have their ten percent discount card. This is a great place to experience Thai cuisine without having to wonder if there is any fish sauce or animal grease in your food. The staff is really nice, although English is not abundant, they do their utmost to please the customers.

My second favourite is in a very touristy part of town, hidden away in a back alley. This open front restaurant only serves Thai dishes and has been doing this for over a decade. Lots of the dishes are the same ones I find in the other eatery, sometimes with a slightly different taste, but they also have their own specialities. Mouthwatering and spicy, just the way Thai food should be. The owner of this restaurant, which by now is already a chain of three, also heads cooking classes in the morning. I have never made it out to these, since it is on the other side of town and they start at 9 AM. Something always seems to come up. Not making any excuses here. Here too the prices are on the very economical side and won't make you file for bankruptcy after a nice lunch.

If, however, once in a while you want a change from Thai food, which is quite understandable, there is an all-vegetarian Italian restaurant in the lower Sukhumvit area. Delicious pastas, mouthwatering calzones and wanting-for-more pizzas all served in an animal-friendly environment. Although the food is very nice, the prices on the menu are less friendly. This is the main difference between a Thai and a farang-owned place. Thais seem to be happy to serve you great food with a great smile, while farangs want to earn money. This is quite understandable, but makes me visit their resto italiano less frequently. However the setting and atmosphere are very nice and so is the staff, always willing to help and explain.

The same area of town is also home to an abundance of Indian vegetarian restaurants. Hindu's are more known to be vegetarian followers of their religion and so there is a wider choice in dishes. The spiciness is also different. An Indian dish will put your mouth on fire while you can still taste the herbs and cheeses used. A Thai dish can sometimes be so hot you don't even remember what you ordered and forgot all about how it should taste. Due to the fact that Indians and Thais don't get along that well, you won't find many Thai people in Indian restaurants. Nonetheless, the food still tasted great and the prices are very humane. Service can sometimes be a bit cold and stiff, but the main reason you came to this place was for the food, right.

Of course there is the possibility your eating companions are not keen on healthy vegetarian food and want to have their daily portion of animal. Then there are like in the west many restaurants that offer a couple of vegetarian dishes. This should keep everyone satisfied. The more famous of these are a couple of Irish pubs scattered all over the city, which try to cater to the needs of westerners, Thais and vegetarians. The oddest place I found was an Australian sports bar which had a whole page of meatless plates on the menu. This looked very unfamiliar to me, especially because all the other Australian eateries I saw were very proud to put an the emphasis on real Australian beef, sirloin steak and kangaroo meat. But this particular place really met my needs. Enjoying a nice lunch while watching rugby on one of the numerous TV screens around the room. Although sometimes the cricket was on and I still haven't got a clue how that game is played. The owner is a very hospitable and friendly Australian, always in for a talk about food or sports. I even got a free vegetarian Cornish pastry and an iced chocolate because my food arrived a little bit late. Farang owned with a Thai spirit, I like it.

I know, these are all restaurants and we are not here to eat out every day. Although that is what everybody does, be it not in restaurants. As I said in the beginning, daily streetfood is part of the Thai culture. I once wanted to cook my own meal and in the end it cost me four times more than what I pay for the same dish on the street. No wonder the sidewalks are full of people every day. I hope you enjoy your next meal, wherever it is and maybe this time you try a dish that hasn't suffered.

Give it a try.

We don't know

2011-01-22T16:53:00.002+07:00

This is the new year and the chosen animal is the rabbit. That is the way it must have sounded in China thousands of years ago. But what does this mean for the common folk? What will happen this year? I don't have a crystal ball, so I have no clue whatsoever about the future. Will I actually write more blog articles? Will other Thailand related blogs sprout out of the depths of the worldwide web? Will the world flood because of global warming? Nobody knows.

Another thing we don't know is how the political turmoil in Thailand will turn out. New elections were promised, but have still to be organized. Certain groups disagree, others have no problems with it and even more others couldn't care less. Something that struck me in election time was the lack of interest of people in politics. Elections are not an obligation in Thailand, you register if you feel up to the task and when that day is finally there, you enter the booth and cast your vote. Talking to a lot of people about this, the majority just can't be bothered with registering. So it will always be the same people who elect their candidates who will, most obviously, come from the same "political" background. So the result will always be the same, not really changing anything for the better of the country.

To me this sounded strange, mostly because going to vote is an obligation in my homestead. Once you are 18 you have the duty to elect. Our forefathers fought to obtain this right and now we still honor it. But in Thailand and other democratic countries on this planet, there is no obligation. What I did realise is that it is actually the people who don't vote who are the least happy with the results. There is a solution for this and you tell them about it and they actually know what to do. This is where we get into a very Thai situation again. When you want to go and cast a vote, you actually have to go there. Welcome to Thailand.

Going nowhere.

Happy trails

2010-12-30T16:59:00.004+07:00

It's been a while. The same thought that must run through a Bangkok taxi driver's head when he can hit the accelerator again for a couple of meters before coming to a complete standstill again for a couple of minutes. The curse of every big city, enormous traffic jams. One reason for not buying a car in Bangkok in my opinion. It is like parking your vehicle in the middle of the street and never getting a ticket for doing so. And still I wonder why so many people take their car to the heart of Bangkok. There is a multitude of taxis available too. Now, you could wonder, why take a taxi when you are always stuck anyway. In the afternoon heat it is wiser to hail a taxi than to walk a couple of kilometers. I have been there and walking doesn't seem such a healthy option anymore. Taxis are cheap and fitted with air conditioning. So it doesn't matter if you get stuck, you are surrounded by a cool breeze. But after some pondering I found the time had come to provide myself with some personal wheels. I wasn't going to be stuck in traffic anymore. I bought a motorbike. Now I was able to weave through traffic without using my brakes too much. Some people called me completely crazy, others nominated me as the next Bangkok hero. In the beginning I was careful, but that was actually not that good of an idea. When there are no traffic jams, cars just soar around you and traffic rules seem non-existent. My rule of thumb is to stick to the most left side of the road and only swerve when necessary. Turn signals seem to come as an option and were replaced by car horns. You never know what will happen in the next ten meters and the next ten after that.

Having the freedom to roam around on two wheels, it was time to venture outside the big city. Many people warned me about the dangers that lay outside the concrete jungle, but I was ready for a small adventure. The first thing you notice outside this metropolis is that people actually do know how to drive a car. Apparently it is just the hustle and bustle of Bangkok that makes them go mad in their Faraday's cages. People drive gentle and even let you pass, there are turn signals visible and no car horns to be heard. Riding a motorbike is a relaxing activity. From town to town, stopping along the way for a picture or a drink, that's what I was hoping for and that's what I got. But after a week I had enough. It was getting too quiet. I was missing something and I knew what it was. So without a doubt I hopped on my faithful steed and went towards the congested mogul. Once I entered the belly of the beast I found the noises and the smells again I was looking for. Again weaving through traffic jams I made way for my apartment. I survived a week on the countryside, notwithstanding all the warnings I received. I still don't know what all the fuss was about. I had a nice time and enjoyed it. And that is what I recommend to anyone reading this, have a nice time and enjoy.

Enjoy.

Relocation

2010-07-27T15:37:00.004+07:00

Here it is, the new entry you have all been waiting for so eagerly. Or maybe not, just wondering what I am up to or if I am even still alive. Well, I am. The reason it took me a while to pick this up has to do with some changes in my life. I relocated. Yes, at the moment of writing this I am not in my beloved Thailand, but in the birthplace of Gaelic culture, Ireland. Since this is not my home country, I am still a foreigner, hence you can still call me a farang. Happy, yes I am, I have a job that earns me some money. So I didn't have to find a new pseudonym to continue this rant.
Living in Thailand is really nice, but living costs money. Since the Thai law doesn't allow me to exercise whatever job I want, I needed to return to Europe to gather some finances. Don't worry if you are looking forward to stories about the Land of Smiles, I will be back there in October.
Not a lot is happening in Ireland since I am just here to work and not really exploring the lay of the land.
I can tell you the Irish are a happy bunch, always in for a cheer and a laugh.
A lot of farang I met in the Thai capital always tell me about the culture shock when returning to their respective homes. Well, I guess those people are just easily shocked. It's all a matter of compatibility. Seen that my ancestors have always been overrun by other tribes, my compatriots and I have developped the ability to adapt quickly to new situations.
The only culture shock to me was that I had to walk 45 minutes to find one ATM. In Bangkok you walk one minute to find 45 ATMs.
Another thing is the price of food. Going to the supermarket or eating out, be prepared to bring your wallet. Ok, I admit, being used to Thai prices, everything seems expensive, but I can tell you, this is even higher than European prices. Being isolated on an island drives the prices up I guess. But all the other goods on the market, from clothing to electronics, seem reasonably priced, so there is no real logic. Probably there is an explanation to this, but I won't be hanging around long enough to find out.

I have no idea when my next entry will appear, but as stated in my very first write-up, this is a very irregular blog, don't take it for granted. You won't be able to enjoy it every Sunday morning along your nice cup of coffee. It will come at you when you least expect it. Expect the unexpexted.

Expect it.

Status update

2010-05-23T18:26:00.003+07:00

The Lord Buddha teaches us desire leads to suffering. And that is what we have seen in Bangkok the past couple of days. One group's desire has led to another group's suffering. But that is not the way it should be interpreted. It should be your own desire that leads to your own suffering. You can sit outside in a busy junction under the scorching sun and suffer for your self-proclaimed good cause all you want, as long as you don't hurt the people around you. But as soon as you monopolise parts of a concrete mogul, other people start to suffer. I suggest to all those covered in red cloth to visit some temples where Hell is depicted. The punishments in the afterlife for making other people suffer are not ones one could easily endure.

One thing that was not mentioned in the written press about the total destruction of Bangkok was the love of Thai people for their beautiful city. Journalists wrote about how they were destroying their own beautiful town. This could be far less from the truth. The majority of the protesters came down from other parts of the country to join the rallies. So they couldn't care less about burning down Thailand's capital. When everything comes to an end they return to their peaceful villages where nothing was, is or will be burning. They want to send a signal, they are misunderstood. They probably misunderstood their orders while they were torching the place down.

In the rest of the world elected governments are allowed to finish their term. Even though some people don't agree with the elected few, they give them a hard time and wait for the next elections. And if all is well, they will have their victory at that time.

Thailand has an ancient culture, but for some part it is still living according to that ancient culture. If you don't like the people in power, overthrow them by any means necessary. There are so many other ways of solving this problem.

The rioters have cooled off, everything is calm and the people of Bangkok have started a big clean up. Now the powers that be should start with a clean out. And don't forget to look in the mirror once in a while.

Let this beautiful country return to the peaceful haven it once was. Let the people live their joyous lives. Let all the violence come to an end.

The country will prosper and flourish and everybody will benefit from this.

Everybody will.

A resume

2010-05-03T01:38:00.002+07:00

It has been a year since I set out on my great voyage and landed in this beautiful country. As they say, time flies when you're enjoying yourself and I have to admit, this year went by so fast, I don't know how I realised to do all the things I did. I thought it might be a nice moment to summarise my year here, make a small resume. Many things happened because I try to maintain a positive attitude and say yes to many proposals. Life is too short to say no to everything and it won't get you anywhere. If you want to gain some life experience, go outside and say yes. I went many miles and they left some impressions on me.

I got drinks from the richest people in Bangkok and bought drinks for the poorest. I had my own opinions and was the subject of several opinions. I taught new matter and learned a lot myself. I woke up in five-star hotel rooms which I didn't have to pay and opened my eyes in the slums of this great city. I met interesting people and people who wished they hadn't met me. I made great friendships and got verbally abused. I became a racist and embraced other cultures. I almost died and found a new life. I led a life covered in darkness and found a way to enlightenment. I could go on and on about all my new experiences, but this would get to monotonous and you would stop reading. And as all of you know, I try to keep this interesting, although a little bit. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, just beware where you express them. The only lesson I want to teach you today is to go out and live a little. You only get one chance at life, make it count.

One chance.

Hot and cold

2010-03-04T23:18:00.002+07:00

This week the hot season started. Because of the warm winter there is not a lot of difference, so it makes the transition easier. Thailand has three seasons, rain, cool and hot. I myself don't really understand why there are three, because they all feel the same. Except it rains more in the raining season. The meteorological department predicts 43° C for April, but critics don't agree. And I agree, how can they already predict the temperature for next month. Try getting it right for next week first.

To my great joy I discovered some new nutritious delights. These are "koochai" and "kai nokata". The transliteration might not be correct, but the street vendors understand it and that is what matters.

Koochai is like the Thai version of falafel. Twenty baht will buy you a bag enough to fill your stomach. The complementary soy sauce might be useful for an otherwise dry experience.

Kai nokata is more like a dessert, but seen that Thai people eat all day long, the meaning of starter or dessert gets lost. It is something you can find at fun fairs in my home country. Deep-fried dough balls with or without powder sugar. I remember being a kid we always had to wait for the fun fair to come to town to eat this little drops of heaven. Here they are available everywhere and every day. Prices vary to the quantity purchased.

Still about food, but on another note, what's the deal with timing in restaurants.

Many times I get my starter at the same time as my main course, or sometimes even halfway through the main dish. The whole meaning of a starter is to start your eating experience. So in my opinion some restaurants should have a good look at "Restaurants for Dummies". This states the common order of starter - main course - dessert. One time I actually got my starter after completely finishing my meal. Without complaining I finished it and paid the bill. It's too late anyway. Please note this does not happen everywhere. And I don't always take a starter, so I don't know how it would be in those cases in some places. Eating out is always a little adventure and that's what keeps it interesting.

Keeps it interesting.

Passed again

2010-02-28T20:12:00.003+07:00

On this day, 2500 years ago, the Lord Buddha spoke to 1250 of his disciples. They came from all over the country without an invitation and Buddha had no intentions of preaching, so it was just a cosy chit-chat in the grass. That day is still a holiday which we call Macha Bucha Day.

Not a lot happens actually. In the evening people go to the temple and walk around the temple three times holding a flower, a candle and some incense. Three times for the three jewels of Buddhism, the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha.

This month didn't see a lot of blogging, because not a lot happened. February had advanced two weeks already when we saw what was supposed to be a spectacular Chinese new year. This was celebrated mostly in the parts of Bangkok where a lot of Chinese descendants live. The most obvious one being Chinatown. I stayed in the Thai parts and there were some celebrations to be seen, but very minor. The typical Chinese dragon dancing and prancing about and a million firecrackers being lit. As long as it makes a lot of noise, Thai people are happy. The main change this year was that a lot of people refrained from wearing the traditional red attire and changed to pink. The reason for this was to wish the beloved king of Thailand better health, pink being his second color, after yellow. Another unofficial reason was not to put too much red out in the streets. Who would have thought that a political color could have so much influence on a tradition that has been going on for thousands and thousands of years.

At the end of the month there was the event everybody had anxiously been waiting for. The court's decision whether or not to seize the assets of Mr. Thaksin. After about six hours of reading the verdict, the final decision was to seize only 60% of the assets, because that was the amount ill-gotten when he had taken the office of Prime Minister in 2001. This may sound like a lot of money, but I'll give you the numbers. They seized 46 billion baht of a total of 76 billion baht. So he's got some change left. And of course this is the money he had in Thailand, if you catch my drift.

As you can see, not a lot happened, but of course February is also the shortest month of the year. Let's hope March brings some more activities and adventures.

Let's hope.

Island in the sun

2010-01-27T22:37:00.002+07:00

Just 30 minutes north of Bangkok you can find a small island called Ko Kret. Yes, that's right, north of Bangkok. In the middle of Chao Praya river there is a small Mon inhabited islet. Everything out of the ordinary is interesting to visit, so some research on the ever expanding world wide web taught me me more about this and I was ready to explore. The starting point for many a day trip is Victory Monument (Thai: Anoo Sawelee) where loads of busses and minivans take you to your destination. The explanation found on the internet was very clear, take blue bus nr. 166 all the way to the terminal station of Pakkret. 30 minutes and 19 baht later I arrived at the Chao Praya river and walked to the closest pier to take the ferry. This was where I felt I was back in Bangkok. On the pier were a couple of Thai guys whose eyes lit up with the sight of a farang. They would take me to the island for 60 baht. Now let me tell you, I could see it from the pier and if the water wasn't as dirty as it is, you would swim to it. Moreover, I read there was a ferry for 2 baht. After some discussion with the greedy boatsmen I found the way to the other pier while behind me the words cheap Charlie sounded. Just for your information, people trying to sell you something are not ashamed to call you a cheap Charlie when you don't buy anything and just walk away. Less than ten minutes later and about as many instructions from local shopkeepers later the pier is in sight. Waiting for the ferry to dock, letting some people off and hopping on and of we go to the other side. The only thing missing were two coins on my eyes, ready to cross the Styx.
Arrived on the other side, the ferryman was to be paid, 2 baht per person. For all you Europeans, that is 4 euro cents. The island has 1 main road which follows the outer line and which is wide enough for 2 bikes. The whole road is six kilometers in length and you can choose to walk it or rent a bicycle. Walking is nice, but six km under a scorching sun of 35° C is just plain suicide. 40 baht to rent a bike looks like the wiser solution. Several temples are scattered around the island and I can assure you these are some very nice examples. But the island is known for something completely different. The Mon people have mastered the skill of pottery. It is said the roundest of pots can be found here. There are several bakeries and you can even give it a go yourself. Although this is a very nice place not far from Bangkok, you don't see many tourists here. And I can tell you why, it is not featured or if it is, very briefly, in the known travel guides. As I said before, throw them away!
After the exploration of the island it was time to get back to the hustle and bustle we know as Bangkok. Back to the pier, I grab 2 baht out of my pocket to pay the ferryman, but in true Thai tradition, the price had gone up to 3 baht. You have to get off the island, so the only thing you can do is pay up. Ok, we are talking about 6 euro cents here, but it is all about the principle. Two minutes later we dock back to the mainland and find our way back to the busstop. Apparently the quiet street becomes a buy market place in the evening. Bought some Thai delights and then went searching for the correct bus. Remember we took a blue bus with number 166 to get here. Blue, red, orange and yellow buses pass by and then there is a bus with callsign 166. This is a red bus and you should know, the red buses are free. How lucky can you get. Well, not that lucky, because apparently a bus of a different colour, even with the same number, doesn't go to the same destination. So unknowingly I end up at the terminal of this red bus, and of course this is not where I was supposed to be. Luckily, transportation is widely available in and around the capital and there is a minivan going straight to the Victory Monument. 25 baht and about the same amount of minutes later we arrive back where we started this little adventure. Ko Kret, a small quiet island not too far from Bangkok. Worth a visit. I will be back for sure.

For sure.

Motorcycle madness

2010-01-19T02:11:00.002+07:00

And today, traffic as we know it, came to a complete standstill in the capital. An accident occurred on the busiest of busy roads, Sukhumvit. Just past the Asok junction the whole ordeal took place. A big tourist bus filled with school children was turning left from the third lane into Soi 23. A pick-up truck on the second lane, probably too busy to watch the traffic, penetrated the side of the bus. Thus blocking three of the four lanes of this busy road, there shouldn't be any problem I hear you think. Think again. The colleague of the driver of the bus, also driving a bus, wanted to aid his fellow worker and pulled up next to him. No not in the first lane which was free, but in the fourth lane, blocking all traffic. The only ones able to maneuvre between the buses where the motorcycles. Knowing this is one of the busiest junctions in Bangkok, it really messed things up. Eager I watched the evening news to see what they would say about the whole mishap and to my great disappointment, it didn't even make the news. That's how far the congestion has come in this vast city, not even worth mentioning if it all stops.
Maybe worth mentioning is that none of the school children were hurt.
This again proves that the fastest way to cross the city is on the back of a motorcycle taxi. In the beginning I was quite cynical about them. I saw them float through the crazy Bangkok traffic and I thought to myself I hadn't come all this way with a death wish. Sitting on the back of a motorcycle swerving between cars, buses and trucks at 80 km/h. If they hit something you just get catapulted into the air and god knows where you might land. But after observing them for a while, I thought I might give it a try. Let them take me on a straight stretch when there isn't much traffic. See how they drive and how they react. There is a big difference watching them from the sidelines or really being on the back.
These days I take them quite regularly. They really do know how to react in this midtown madness, apparently there is a logic to the whole traffic system. Although I still haven't figured it out. For instance when a car uses his turning signals, it doesn't necessarily mean he is going to make a turn. It can mean a lot of things. But it seems the motorcycle taxis know what they mean. Experience and practice, I guess. Another good reason to call on their services are their low fees. They take me to the supermarket for 15 baht. A taxi has a fare starting at 35 baht and a tuk-tuk charges me 40. Sometimes you just have to take the risk and try something new.

You just have to.

Guide or be guided

2010-01-14T01:51:00.002+07:00

My advice for everyone traveling to the land of smiles, throw out your Lonely Planets and Rough Guides. Talk to the locals and look around on the internet and you will find some very nice spots to discover.
One of my favourite places in Bangkok is the Saturday evening vintage market in Lad Prao. I really love that place. Half of the vendors drive oldtimers, be it old Volkswagen vans or American muscle cars, it feels like a nighttime car show at times. Some sell old and used goods, others try to seduce you with new products. This market is best known for its vast amount of secondhand motorcycles being sold every week. Always nice to look at, but buyers beware. Seen this is an evening market and not every corner is well-lit, check out your desired merchandise meticulously before cash changes hands. The exact location of this secondhand paradise is something for you to find out. Finding it is half the fun.
Another spot on my list is the evening market of Huay Kwang. Always nice to linger around in the evening and watch everyone go about his or her daily business. Also famous in the area for its many eateries and street eats. There are always sales going on and even then you can haggle on the price. It's easy to find, just go to the main junction of Huay Kwang, past Ganesh and you can't miss it.
Bangkok is full of nice spots like these where there is always something to see and to do. You won't find these places in your guide books, so no need investing money in a bunch of paper telling you what the next best budget hotel is.

No need.

To eat or not to eat

2010-01-04T15:41:00.000+07:00

The setting is farangland. It is 10 o'clock in the evening. You are watching tv in your cosy appartment and suddenly you feel peckish. You don't want to get out al your utensils and start cooking seen the late hour. You think about going outside and grab something quick to eat. But what? You could go to the nearest night shop and get a bag of crisps. But that's too unhealthy. You could go out for chips. But seen you are supposed to go to bed in about an hour or two, this is certainly not the healthiest way to go. The streets are empty. A truck passes you, a truck running publicity for fresh fruit. But where can you find that now? Back to home and fight that hunger in the morning with some breakfast.

The setting is Bangkok. It is 10 o'clock in the evening. You are watching tv in your cosy appartment and suddenly you feel peckish. You don't want to get out al your utensils and start cooking seen the late hour. You think about going outside and grab something quick to eat. But what? Just walk 20 meters and the first stall comes in sight. And this goes on for the next 20 streets. If you ever get that far that is. You can find everything you desire. My favourite is the guy selling fruit. A nice big slice of watermelon for 10 baht or a nice chopped up guava for 15 baht. For you people loving seafood you can find baked fish, dried squid or used-to-be marine animals on a stick. Fried duck or noodles with pork are also on the menu of the streets. This all goes on until about 2 in the morning, and if you are lucky to live closeby a market, you might find your favourite dish until 4 or 5 in the morning. And did you miss it, or they are out of ingredients, just come back the next day when it all repeats itself.
Luckily you actually don't even need to know Thai to order all of this, just point and smile.

Just smile.

Happy 2553

2010-01-02T19:08:00.000+07:00

Sawadee pi mai. Happy new year. This is it, we have entered 2010 or to state it locally, 2553. The year of the tiger is upon us. Curious what it will bring. Joy and happiness? Or more crises and political insecurity? Thailand has no idea what it is in for. What will happen with Mr. T? Will he be the bigger man and come back to face his jail sentence? Or will he keep stirring up the masses from outside Thailand?
To be honest, I can't be bothered. This is a Thai fight and as with any Thai fight, the best advice is to stay out of it. Stay at the same course as the mainstream Thai, go to work, earn some money and don't care about the war of the coloured shirts.

Celebrating new year in Thailand felt a little bit strange. I think mainly beacause this is not their celebration. The Thai new year, called Songkran, is celebrated in April, around our Easter. This new year is mainly one of commerce. Big setups, superstars, speeches and lots of stalls to emphasise the big countdown. After this bliss moment of fireworks everything returns to normal. For Thai people this was a day like any other day. Of course this being Bangkok there were parties everywhere. But then again, this being Bangkok, you can party here every day of the year. As someone told me, what is so special about it, every day is a new day, you don't go out and celebrate every first day of a new month. I think they are right. Actually it is just another day. Yes, you throw out your old calendar and put up a new one, but what else changes. Nothing. Thai people also celebrate Chinese new year, I don't know how, but judging by the western new year, it will be a day like any other day. Songkran on the other hand is where the real party starts. Five days of fun in the sun. Cavorting until the wee hours. If you want to know more about Songkran, I bet you know how to use google.

So what are my resolutions for this year?
Try to see a bit more of this wonderful country and try to stay alive. I think I will stick to those ones. Don't make fake promises you know you won't keep.

Don't.

And the winner is...

2009-12-29T22:30:00.000+07:00

Is it just me or did December pass a lot slower than the other months? It still feels as we are only half way through it, though the end is nigh, two more days. At the end of every year people give out awards to everyone and everything to commemorate the good and bad things of that year. So I thought I could do the same.
Welcome to the great awards show.

Award for the slowest walking people on the planet: Thailand
Award for the blindest people on the planet: Thailand
Award for the most annoying people: India
Award for people splashing a whole bottle of after-shave on themselves: Middle East
Award for most obnoxious drunk people: England
Award for most hypocrisy: America
Award for best hospitality: Australia
Award for friendliest people in your face: Thailand
Award for most overpriced pubs: Ireland
Award for having a mobile phone attached to your ear: Thailand
Award for craziest taxi drivers: Thailand
Award for saying your country is the best in the world: Sweden
Award for sharing your dirty sex exploits with everyone: Germany
Award for walking on the street covered in just a towel and not caring: Thailand

So as you can read, it ain't all that bad over here.
I want to wish you all a happy 2010 or 2553, depending on the country you're residing in.

The Discovery Channel

2009-12-15T22:10:00.000+07:00

This stay in the land of smiles has been one of many discoveries. The most important to me is the man with the aluminum cylinder on four wheels sounding his bell wherever he goes. These days when I hear the bell I try to make out where the sound comes from and make haste to find this friendly man. You can find them everywhere in Bangkok, but mainly outside the tourist areas. Of course I am talking about the ice cream man. But not just ordinary ice cream. Homemade coconut ice cream. If you ever get a chance, don't waste it. Buy the heaven sent delight, it will only set you back 10 baht for a whole cup. That's right. No Häagen Dazs where you pay 50 baht for one scoop, but 10 baht for a whole cup of Thai craftsmanship.
Another thing you learn here is that respect takes you a long way. Not just respect for eachother, but for the world around you. Have you ever noticed there are almost no garbage bins in Bangkok? People just wait until they actually see one, or take it home and dump it there. I saw this a long time ago on a roadsign in Wales: Take your litter home. Here people actually do it and Bangkok stays clean. For the most part that is, because you will always see a wrapper or something on the street, but then there are the 24/7 street sweepers who keep things tidy around here.
Another form of respect I discovered here is the respect the people have for the king. He is not treated as a monarch, but as some kind of deity. His picture is everywhere. I cannot imagine getting on the bus in my home country and seeing a picture of the king above the drivers seat. Here he is omnipresent. When you go to the movies, you have the trailers and commercials followed by the national anthem. This is preceded by a screen stating to rise to pay respect to the king. To make sure everyone stands this is in Thai and English. It is very much frowned upon if a farang doesn't stand. Even though this might not be your king, you shall give him your respect for 2 minutes. Every day, 6 PM, on the national channel you can watch the national anthem being sung by people from a different city. If you are in a public place at 6 PM and you hear the anthem, you should look around you. It's like you are in a movie and someone pressend pause, you are the only one still in play mode. These are things you get used to eventually. Life actually stops for 1 minute at 6 PM.

I want to conclude with the craziest discussion I have ever had in my life.
Every day at 8.30 PM many television sets switch to Channel 7 to watch 'Drama'. This can best be described as the Thai version of 'Days of our Lives' and 'The Bold and the Beautiful'. It is the every day life stories of a family and the people surrounding it. So you can imagine what it looks like to an outsider with a grasp of reality. Unlike its American counterparts, each episode lasts two hours, that is correct, not 25 minutes, but the full two hours. Every day.
And then the discussion went something like this.
A: Ow, it's 8.30, all the women will be watching Channel 7 now.
B: Not only women, but everyone.
A: I really think it's only women who watch it.
B: No, everyone, because you can learn from it.
A: Learn from it?????
B: Yes, how to be good and how to avoid bad.
A: You cannot learn that from a soap. It's not real.
B: That's not true, it's like real.

At that point I just started laughing and ended the discussion because it was not going anywhere. Some people just have their own opinions.

This and that

2009-11-30T00:55:00.000+07:00

Yours truly has taken advantage of the growing real estate market in the Big Mango and moved base. A new neighbourhood brings new inspiration. Because of developers planting condominiums on every open piece of land, the prices are going down. Everybody wants to rent out there rooms, so this brings along a lot of competition for us to benefit from. And so I found a brand new furnished apartment for 5000 baht per month, including 10 Mbps internet with unlimited download capacity and cable television. This will save me about 4000 baht per month, which isn't all that bad, methinks. To know how much baht I am talking about, look it up on one of the many currency converters you can find around the internet. But if it is important enough to get mentioned here, you know I ain't talking about pennies.

Overemployment can be scary.
To me it seems Thailand solved the unemployment problem by employing a lot of people to do a lot of nothing. This is only my view and I may be wrong. If so, please correct me. When you go out to buy something, especially electronics, you get ambushed and cornered by so many guys trying to persuade you to buy the brand they represent, it really scares me. If I walk to the television section at Robinson's just to have a look at the current prices of these things, I don't want to be stalked by six guys. Call me paranoid. I don't mind one guy coming up to me asking me if I can be helped and yes, I will brush him off, but six guys is a little harder. So when I see these customer-hungry predators locking their eyes on me, I quickly take a sharp left or right and go look at the newest sneakers. Of course I have to make a sharp left again because the shoe section is also cluttered with salesmen. These days I only wander into these hunter's domains when I actually need something. But always keep your wits and get informed before you enter, because they will use everything in their power to convince you their brand is the best on the planet. Long live the concept of commission. Sometimes I think they are going to overrun eachother to be the first one to aid you in search of that new photoframe.

On a completely different note, I thought I would never do it, but yes I will do it.
If you live in or near Khao San Road, don't come bragging you know what goes on in and around Bangkok. Okay, it is a fact that this stretch of asphalt is the most written about in any book about Thailand and Bangkok in particular and I do agree that every first-time visitor should go and take a look to see what all the fuss is about. Some of you might like it, others will turn around and never return. If you're looking for a dreadlock holiday with young travellers on a budget and gurus who know their lonely planet by heart, this is the place for you. If you want to know more about Bangkok, leave this street at once. It is also full of Thais and Indians trying to get your last dimes.
I only wander through this ordeal because it harbours one of the best vegetarian restaurants in town. To me, it is a necessary evil. The sour apple before the mouthwatering feast.
So next time, one of you bearded know-it-all I've-been-to-every-full-moon-party linen-clothes-wearing bare-feet-walking gone-all-native chumps comes up to me with all the knowledge in the world, please don't be flabbergasted when I talk to you about the subway which has been there for five years already. Leave your stretch, wear some shoes and try listening to people instead of spreading your "elaborate" wisdom.

Xenophobia Extravaganza

2009-11-15T21:03:00.000+07:00

This entry is written entirely for the inhabitants of the island off the coast of Europe. You guessed it, the English. They are not all bad, I met some wonderful people from across the channel. Many cheers go to Big man Dan, one of the friendliest people on the planet. And there is a difference between the English who live here and those you just come here as a two-weeks-millionaire.
It is the latter I want to discuss.
For starters, if you cannot handle alcohol, stay clear of it. This is what we call common sense. Which brings me to the next point. Common sense tends to be common, but apparently it is not in the English gene pool. I guess years of inbreeding, teenage pregnancies and watching too many LiverFool matches has a lot to do with this.
If you do plan to get drunk, do it in a place where many people know you. Like your local pub, for instance. The Boar and Arms is as good a place as any and it's just at the end of your street, not far from your warm cozy bed. See, you don't even have to come to Thailand.
If you wander to a streetbar at 3 AM, already drunk, then why do you keep on drinking. Of course the Thai bar owner will give you more booze, because he is only interested in your money. Not because he likes you and wants to hear how many Thai lasses you snogged in the past week.
Then if you stand up and you happen to step on my foot, you can do two things. Keep walking or turn around and apologise. You do not turn around and offer to smash my face, because apparently I was in the way of your drunken path, which happened to lead backwards. And here is the common sense again. You do not offer to smash my face if you do not know where you are and you are surrounded by six Thai guys who I happen to know. I wouldn't even need to stand up. And let me add, Thai guys never fight fair. The three in front of you won't move a finger, it's the three parading around your back you should be afraid of. There is enough evidence of that on Youtube. Furthermore, if you and drunken sorry ass stumble into a streetside shop and wreck the displays, you will have to pay for it. Don't turn around and say it won't be happening. You will pay, be it with money or your physical health.
So, moral of this little tale: Trade Bangkok for Scarborough and you will make many people very happy.

We are all foreigners here

2009-10-19T19:41:00.000+07:00

I know everyone has been waiting for a new entry, so here it is. As stated before, this blog will appear on a very irregular basis. Let's see what has happened to me and how I see things in the Big Mango.
When someone stays long enough in a foreign country, you start to notice their flaws. Being a European, I am fairly tolerant to every other citizen of the world. But over here their little flaws can get to you a little. For instance, every Frenchman I meet her assumes I speak French and carries on in his own little lingo de pâté et canard. Do not assume things about people you do not know. Yes, I do speak French, but being so far from home you would expect them to at least speak English or the local tongue. So, point proven, the French are not only arrogant in their own country, but also outide their borders. Germans are better in this, they will speak English to you, albeit with a German accent, but you don't hear me complaining. I see they make an effort, I mention I can converse in their language and we carry on in German, everybody happy. But then again, why do I bother? Every German I meet her talks about one thing. Where to find the best ladies and how they are travelling on to Pattaya after a couple of days of Bangkok. And why is this? Because apparently the girls in Pattaya are cheaper. Yes, most Germans have a set budget and don't spend more than that per day. So to all you Bavarians, Schwaben and others of Volkswagen-country, I am not interested in your sexual exploits.
Apparently there is also a way to tell the difference between a Swede and a Brit. They both have tattoos, but the Vikings take care of their teeth and the Brits have a serious dental problem. This comes from a Swedish guy, so I don't take credit for this. Why is it that people pay so much money to sit on a plane for 10 hours or more and then get drunk every day they are here and get back on their plane back to farangland? I will never understand it. Why not spend that money in the local pub? The Hell's Angels had it right you know, support your local. Don't come here bothering other people with your drunk dribble about how your country is the greatest in the world. Because if it really is, why don't they stay there? And why do so many English live and work abroad? Because they loved living in their great country so much? On a side note, please get the colonialism out of your genes. You are not a conqueror. The only thing you will be conquering is the toilet to puke and shit your guts out.
And what's up with Americans stating they are Canadian. This is too funny. They are actually ashamed of the whole Bush era. Let me tell you one thing, you can't hide the accent. I do appreciate they come out for it after a while. The stupidest thing to do, because now everyone will make fun of them for the rest of the evening.
A large group of expats here is Australian and I can't find any flaws there. Down to earth people, descendants of former convicts, always a great conversation, not putting anyone down. I think they will have their flaws, everyone has. Heck, even I have flaws, maybe they are written about on a Frenchman's blog.
Just let me state for the record that in no way I am racist. This is just a blog of what I experience here.

Something completely different now, mispronunciation leads to miscommunication. A couple of days ago I was talking about movies with a Thai girl. All of a sudden she said she liked Black Pete a lot. I said I didn't know this person. She said it again and three times I heard Black Pete. I asked her if she meant Black Eyes Peas, which was complete nonsense as we were talking about movies. But hey, anything is possible here. Tell me more about Black Pete, I said. He very handsome man, she continued. Made many movies. Very famous. And married to Angelina Jolie. YES. You guessed it, she was talking about Brad Pitt. Sometimes you have to make an effort, but in the end you will get there.

In the end you will get there.

Me vs them

2009-09-26T15:03:00.000+07:00

One thing you have to take in to account when moving to another country are the cultural differences. When you stay on the same continent these are not that big, for instance you learn to live with Germans munching on larger than life sausages while watching Scheissemovies, Brits being bloody hooligans and Spanish being lazy bastards as they go sleeping in the middle of the day. But when you're moving to Asia things are a bit different. These people have a totally different way of life. Asia is big and I'm going to focus on Thailand, because that is where I live now.

For instance, where I come from, people eat 3 times per day. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. In Thailand, people eat 6 times per day and when you look closely it comes a lot closer to 20 times. They are eating all the time. Maybe that's why it takes so long to get things finished around here.

Good thing for them is that they don't eat a lot of fats, so they stay skinny. And of course not every Thai eats this much, the beggars have to satisfy themselves with one portion of sticky rice per day, or was that sticky lice?

And actually this doesn't bother me at all. There's nothing wrong with people eating.

The thing that bothers me the most is the "cultural perception of time". In other words, Thai are always late. When you make an appointment at 9 o'clock, be sure to see your counterparty at 9.30 or even later. The longest I had to wait for someone was 75 minutes and this was not even business-related.

When they arrive eventually, there is always an excuse, there was too much traffic, it was raining. This is just a way of telling you that they were too lazy to get their ass of the couch or they couldn't be bothered meeting you.

I once had a meeting and the email stated: the meeting will start at 2-3 PM. Can somebody please enlighten me what time i had to be there? As a good boy from the western world I was there at 2 PM and the meeting started at 2.30. At first this really gets to you. Being 5 or 10 minutes late doesn't bother anyone, but the Thai way is really testing people. But then again, you learn to live with it. When you have an appointment, be sure to bring a book or an MP3 player.

The last thing I hear many farang complain about is the telephone conversation, especially with their Thai girlfriend. In the West a telephone conversation starts with: Hello, how are you?

In Thailand it goes as follows: Hello, where are you? So either they don't trust the farang boyfriend or they are very insecure about people's whereabouts. Or just making sure he's not in the area because she is with another guy. This is all possible.

After 5 months you see things in a different way. Tourists can't be bothered with cultural differences, because 2 weeks later they are on a plane back home. Expats have to live with this, live through the ordeals.

But as stated before: just go with the flow.

Lazy Sunday afternoon

2009-09-16T15:17:00.000+07:00

Every week it comes back. And every week there is that same question. What to do on a Sunday afternoon? You could stay indoors and listen to Small Faces songs or go outside and enjoy. Well, seeing that Bangkok is not the same as Europe, there is always something to do. All shops are open and the city is loaded with events. But there are other things one can do in this City of Angels. One of the funnier things is to go to a place which has escalators, like big shopping malls or the underground and skytrain stations. Upon arrival, look for a nice spot where you can see people getting on and off the escalators. In my opinion it looks like Thai people always get on these things for the first time in their life. Almost falling over, leaning backwards, never smooth like it should be. This can cause some trouble during rush hour, people trampling on each other, scared to make the move and waiting for the next piece of escalator to appear and hopping on like a cow suffering Parkinson's. This activity can be funny for about 15 minutes. So it's on to the next one.

Go to the park and watch people jogging. Mind you, it is about 2 o'clock in the afternoon and 35°C. Who in his right mind would go jogging? Just sit on a bench with a big bottle of water and maintain that courteous smile on your face. Don't let it turn into a grin, because then you're just offending people. Just enjoy your cold water and watch people die of dehydration as they jog along.

One of the big tourist attractions in Bangkok is the Chatuchak weekend market. As the name implies, this takes place during Saturdays and Sundays. It is a huge area where you can buy just about anything for a decent price, the haggling is up to you of course. This place is featured in lonely planet, the rough guide, frommer's, just about every travel guide on the planet. So this means just about every tourist wants to come here. Big mistake. You see, most of the market is indoors with very narrow walkways. Take into account an outside temperature of 35°C, thousands of people and the smell of dried fish, Chinese concoctions, beggars and sweat. I just love how some farang try to make it back outside where they are met by the scorching heat. Watching people go crazy and mental, don't you just love it.

So if you're bored on a Sunday afternoon in Bangkok, just do one of these three activities, or all of them. And they are free of charge.

Really?

2009-09-04T11:05:00.000+07:00

As you will probably notice, this will not be a regular blog, not daily, weekly or monthly. It will appear whenever I feel like writing it. So be patient. It will never be of high standard, it will never win a Pullitzer, but who cares.

In Europe we know Indians from their fine restaurants where you can enjoy a nice spicy meal with an exotic name and drink watermelon punch. Here they exist too, and they are much cheaper too, which is very much appreciated. But in Thailand Indians are very well-known for something else, their tailor shops. You can't walk a mile without passing a couple of these. I don't mind, everybody needs to make a living. But what I don't like is, because there are so many, they need patronage. So they sit outside and wait until a farang walks by. This is when it starts. Let me tell you something, in case one of these tailors reads this, I am not your friend, your mate or your brother. I have one brother and he is not an Indian tailor in Bangkok. I walk past in shorts and flip-flops, showing my tattoos, why would I be interested in a tailor-made suit? And I walk past here almost every day, so by now they should know me, but no, everytime I have to endure it. "Hey my friend, I make suit for you, very good price, only today discount." Every day they say the same, so maybe if I wait long enough and add up the discounts, I get a suit for free. And maybe you are thinking now, if you don't like this, just cross the road. I wish I could do this, but it's the same scenario on the other side of the road. The best thing to do is just ignore them, not saying a word and just continue walking. Twenty Thai people walk past and one farang, they will only address the farang. The Thai people are business men wearing suits, the farang is wearing shorts and sandals and a t-shirt which says "I am a dumb tourist, please release me of my money". The same goes for tuk-tuk drivers. If you don't know what a tuk-tuk is, please google. There are hundreds of Thai people walking by and one farang, they will only address the farang. "Hello sir, where you go?" "You want taxi?" If I want a taxi, I will take a taxi, if I want a tuk-tuk, I will come to you and ask for a ride. But wait, this guy will take me to my destination for only 10 baht? That is a bargain. Eventually you will get to your destination, after having visited numerous shops which are of zero intrest to you, but the tuk-tuk driver brought you there, so he gets some money from the shop owner or gas coupons. If you do happen to take a tuk-tuk and he's bringing you straight to your destination, he will probably be charging you double or triple. There is one way around this. Get to know Thai people. Take a tuk-tuk accompanied by a Thai person and you will pay a lot less, sometimes even less than taking a taxi for the same ride. I kid you not, it has happened to me. So what we learn here is, it is ok to rid the farang of his money, but be honest to our own. After a while you get used to this and you just walk past it. You don't notice them anymore. I go where I want to go when I want to go. Therefore I love taking the underground or the skytrain, no hassles. But sometimes it happens by accident. You do some late night grocery shopping, yes that is possible here, some supermarkets are open 24 hours, you get into a taxi and you tell him you want to go home, it is midnight after all and you got four bags of groceries. The driver nods and we take off. After two minutes the obviously blind to my bags driver says "You want to go disco?" Of course, nice mister taxi driver, I want to stand in the middle of the dancefloor waving my four bags of groceries around. Some people really don't have a clue. After a small discussion that I really wanted to go home because of my obvious luggage, he told me only drops people of at the disco. So I get out and take the next taxi that comes along, luckily there are more taxis in Bangkok than sheep in New-Zealand. The next one is a very nice old man who drops me off right at my doorstep. Thank you very much.

Because of the vast area that Bangkok is, it is impossible for every taxi driver to know every nook and cranny. I really do understand this, but 80% of the time I seem to get stuck with the cabby who has been in this lovely city for three days. You open the door, tell them where you want to go, they nod, you get in, and two minutes into the ride they ask you where you want to go, they have no idea, they start calling people, you start calling people, and in the end you get there, but this is not how it is supposed to be. If you can see the driver is an old man, take that taxi. These guys have been around very long and know exactly where you want to go. If it is a young fellow, he will know all the hip and trendy dancing spots, but don't ask him to drop you off at a temple he doesn't know about. Taking a taxi here is always a gamble and an unexpected adventure. If you really want to complain about this, there is a number of the taxi company in the taxi, every driver has his license on display with his name and number, so just call them and complain. But wait, this can't be right. The guy in the picture looks 50 and the driver is only 25. That's right people, 95% of the time, the driver is not the guy in the picture, these guys change cabs like they change underwear, so there is no use in complaining, just do it the Thai way, go with the flow.

Just go with flow.

My first one

2009-08-30T18:19:00.000+07:00

Ok. Here we go. I've been here for four months now and the time has come to write down some of my experiences. It won't be so much writing, but more ranting and raving about my likes and dislikes. Because that is what Bangkok makes you do, you start liking and disliking things.

Let's get some things straight first. Yes, this blog is written in English and no it is not my mother tongue. But there are far more people who understand English out there. I write this blog as "the happy farang", farang is the Thai word for foreigner and it has no negative connotation contrary to the word foreigner in many other languages. If you want to know more about the origin of the word and all that I suggest you consult Wikipedia or something of the likes. So we are clear on these points now. Let's continue the rant.

Four months ago I boarded a plane heading for Bangkok. I was gonna take a small vacation and then start looking for a job. The first part went really well, the latter is still going on.

Most farang who come here take up a job as an English teacher, which is the easiest way of earning money in this town. I was keeping this as a last resort, I didn't want to be just another English teacher among all the other expats. I applied for many a job and contrary to Europe, if they are not interested in you, they just don't reply to your emails. It's a real bummer when you get an email starting with "We are sorry to inform you...", but it is actually more depressing when you don't get any replies at all. And if you get a reply it takes them so long to send it. Apparently it is even worse in South-America, but I'm not applying there, so I don't care.

So after not receiving all those replies I thought I'd give the English teaching a go. What I didn't know was that people from English speaking countries seem to have a monopoly on these jobs. Yes it's true. Apparently you have more chances of getting struck by lightning within the next ten seconds. But I don't give up. I have to enforce my resume. So I take an English proficiency test, known as the TOEIC (Test of English for International Communication), Google it, which proves me with the knowledge that my English is near perfect. And by near perfect I mean 99.9%. It always feels nice when English folk ask me "whereabouts in England are you from". I'm not from old Blighty, I resort from the continent. No one ever guesses where I come from. We don't have a specific look or a specific accent. We could be from anywhere. ALthough when I meet some Germans, they always ask me if I'm from Switzerland, maybe I have some accent in German, although I don't use any Swiss vocabulary, apart from muesli.

Nevertheless, Australians tell me they cannot understand Englishmen from the north and Americans from Texas have trouble conversing with Kiwis. But everyone understands me and I understand everyone. So I will crack the monopoly. Just a little more time is needed.

In the meantime I landed a job teaching Dutch in a multinational company. Everyhing is possible in the Big Mango.

People know, or think they know, Bangkok and Thailand from watching "The Beach" and "Bangkok Dangerous", but that is Hollywood. Nothing from what I have seen in those movies I have seen here. This is a different movie, it's called "You are in Bangkok and you will enjoy it". You can do whatever you like as long as you keep it legal. You don't want to end up in prison here, read the book of Warren Fellowes and you'll know what I'm talking about.

So, I hope you liked my introduction of this blog about the land of smiles. More to come soon.