This and that

Yours truly has taken advantage of the growing real estate market in the Big Mango and moved base. A new neighbourhood brings new inspiration. Because of developers planting condominiums on every open piece of land, the prices are going down. Everybody wants to rent out there rooms, so this brings along a lot of competition for us to benefit from. And so I found a brand new furnished apartment for 5000 baht per month, including 10 Mbps internet with unlimited download capacity and cable television. This will save me about 4000 baht per month, which isn't all that bad, methinks. To know how much baht I am talking about, look it up on one of the many currency converters you can find around the internet. But if it is important enough to get mentioned here, you know I ain't talking about pennies.

Overemployment can be scary.
To me it seems Thailand solved the unemployment problem by employing a lot of people to do a lot of nothing. This is only my view and I may be wrong. If so, please correct me. When you go out to buy something, especially electronics, you get ambushed and cornered by so many guys trying to persuade you to buy the brand they represent, it really scares me. If I walk to the television section at Robinson's just to have a look at the current prices of these things, I don't want to be stalked by six guys. Call me paranoid. I don't mind one guy coming up to me asking me if I can be helped and yes, I will brush him off, but six guys is a little harder. So when I see these customer-hungry predators locking their eyes on me, I quickly take a sharp left or right and go look at the newest sneakers. Of course I have to make a sharp left again because the shoe section is also cluttered with salesmen. These days I only wander into these hunter's domains when I actually need something. But always keep your wits and get informed before you enter, because they will use everything in their power to convince you their brand is the best on the planet. Long live the concept of commission. Sometimes I think they are going to overrun eachother to be the first one to aid you in search of that new photoframe.

On a completely different note, I thought I would never do it, but yes I will do it.
If you live in or near Khao San Road, don't come bragging you know what goes on in and around Bangkok. Okay, it is a fact that this stretch of asphalt is the most written about in any book about Thailand and Bangkok in particular and I do agree that every first-time visitor should go and take a look to see what all the fuss is about. Some of you might like it, others will turn around and never return. If you're looking for a dreadlock holiday with young travellers on a budget and gurus who know their lonely planet by heart, this is the place for you. If you want to know more about Bangkok, leave this street at once. It is also full of Thais and Indians trying to get your last dimes.
I only wander through this ordeal because it harbours one of the best vegetarian restaurants in town. To me, it is a necessary evil. The sour apple before the mouthwatering feast.
So next time, one of you bearded know-it-all I've-been-to-every-full-moon-party linen-clothes-wearing bare-feet-walking gone-all-native chumps comes up to me with all the knowledge in the world, please don't be flabbergasted when I talk to you about the subway which has been there for five years already. Leave your stretch, wear some shoes and try listening to people instead of spreading your "elaborate" wisdom.

Xenophobia Extravaganza

This entry is written entirely for the inhabitants of the island off the coast of Europe. You guessed it, the English. They are not all bad, I met some wonderful people from across the channel. Many cheers go to Big man Dan, one of the friendliest people on the planet. And there is a difference between the English who live here and those you just come here as a two-weeks-millionaire.
It is the latter I want to discuss.
For starters, if you cannot handle alcohol, stay clear of it. This is what we call common sense. Which brings me to the next point. Common sense tends to be common, but apparently it is not in the English gene pool. I guess years of inbreeding, teenage pregnancies and watching too many LiverFool matches has a lot to do with this.
If you do plan to get drunk, do it in a place where many people know you. Like your local pub, for instance. The Boar and Arms is as good a place as any and it's just at the end of your street, not far from your warm cozy bed. See, you don't even have to come to Thailand.
If you wander to a streetbar at 3 AM, already drunk, then why do you keep on drinking. Of course the Thai bar owner will give you more booze, because he is only interested in your money. Not because he likes you and wants to hear how many Thai lasses you snogged in the past week.
Then if you stand up and you happen to step on my foot, you can do two things. Keep walking or turn around and apologise. You do not turn around and offer to smash my face, because apparently I was in the way of your drunken path, which happened to lead backwards. And here is the common sense again. You do not offer to smash my face if you do not know where you are and you are surrounded by six Thai guys who I happen to know. I wouldn't even need to stand up. And let me add, Thai guys never fight fair. The three in front of you won't move a finger, it's the three parading around your back you should be afraid of. There is enough evidence of that on Youtube. Furthermore, if you and drunken sorry ass stumble into a streetside shop and wreck the displays, you will have to pay for it. Don't turn around and say it won't be happening. You will pay, be it with money or your physical health.
So, moral of this little tale: Trade Bangkok for Scarborough and you will make many people very happy.